


Untold Tales

by Fjeril



Category: A3! (Video Game)
Genre: A little bit of angst, Childhood Friends, Fluff, I don't know what to add they're just so in love it's ridiculous, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-16
Updated: 2019-04-16
Packaged: 2020-01-14 23:50:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18486961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fjeril/pseuds/Fjeril
Summary: Tasuku doesn't know the words he needs to put on his feelings.Tsumugi is too guilty to dare say them aloud.





	Untold Tales

**Author's Note:**

> It feels a bit weird to post a first work in another new fandom... But here I am, taking my first step in the A3! part of Ao3.  
> I'm not very confident in this work, but sometimes you gotta stop thinking and just jump~

                When I saw Tsumugi in his angel costume, I fell in love with him again.

                It wasn't the first time. Nor the second. But maybe the tenth, or the hundredth. Maybe more. I never counted; I just fell in love with him every single time I looked at him. Thus...

                When he left me alone after the audition, I was at loss. It felt like all the light had been taken away from my life - even though I had finally entered the troupe I had always dreamt of. Even though I was finally standing on the stage I had dreamt of.

_I wanted to stand on this stage with you. But you ran away, you whom I admired more than anyone else._ _You were my ideal, and yet you ran away. From what? From whom?_

                I never got to know the truth. and before i knew it, he was back in my life.

_This is his true form. An angel that has left the sky, because he fell in love with something on earth._

                I wished I could allow myself to say "someone", but there was nobody on earth that earned Tsumugi's love like theater did. Or so I used to think, before I saw him run away from the GOD-za auditions. After he had left the sky, he had also left Veludo, and my life... For a full year. At the time, I used to think that it was for the best, that if I ever saw him again I'd punch the shit out of him for leaving me alone when I needed his guidance, his presence next to my sides to feel complete.

                But I wasn't able to actually do that. When I saw his face, I just couldn't say or do anything. But I couldn't forgive him either. Thus, except for practice, I refused to talk to him. And to avoid dialogue in our shared room, I went running until he fell asleep. Every night, as soon as I was lying on my bed, I regretted my actions.

"Tsumugi..."

                One night, I tried to call his name, to no avail. Maybe because of the director's endless efforts to try and solve our dispute. Maybe because I knew she was right. And also, maybe because I fell in love with him again, despite the turn our relationship had taken.

*

                I've always been bad at handling negative critiques. Negativity in general. The very day I took the auditions to enter GOD-za, their director crushed me to pieces, stepped on my and my dream. What had always given me life suddenly caused what felt like my very first death. Thus, I ran away, to my personal hell, far from Veludo, far from Tokyo. Not _too_ far, though. Just close enough to be able to keep an eye on him who had sworn to support me, so I could watch him grow in my stead. Far but close, I even had his brother write my opinions about his acting without him knowing.

                And to complete my personal hell, I met someone else, a woman from the town I had fled to. Oh, there _were_ feelings. True and sincere, yet not nearly enough to even throw a shadow over the overwhelming ones that kept me going to GODza's performances. I even kept it going until I missed acting so much it had become unbearable. I already knew, though.

_It wasn't just acting that I missed._

                Joining MANKAI company felt like going out of hell. I was Orpheus, bringing his lover back from hell. For a very short time. When I saw him again, I understood I was Euridice. What appeared a miracle was just a different kind of hell.

                And once again, he was the one who reached for me.

"I'm here to support you, too."

                As he took my hand, I became able to fly with my own wings, to turn into Michael, descended on earth to visit the one he loved - and every time I looked up to Raphael - to Tasuku, I hoped for my blush to disappear under my make-up.

_It wasn't just your support I was looking for._

* * *

                Under the moon, Tsumugi looked after the flowers, mind empty and body so tired he didn't really feel it. On the bench, Mikage was sleeping like a baby, under a blanket provided by Arisugawa a little earlier. The place was calm, and almost silent; the other troups were probably fast asleep, by now.

"You know, I'm glad you failed the auditions for GODza."

                Chills went down Tsumugi's spine. He had expected Tasuku to come, but his words were a surprise. Not especially of the best kind.

"What's that, Taa? A few days ago you were frustrated that I didn't pass and wasn't by your sides, and now you're happy about it?"

              He tried to look annoyed, but failed miserably. There weren't characters on stage, nor doing a street act of any kind. They were themselves, in a private setting. There was no doubt that there was more to Tasuku's words than what they seemed to be. Right now, though, he didn't know what exactly. But the gentle hint of a smile on his childhood friend's face appeased his heart.

"You know that's not where I'm going."

"Then where are you going?"

Tasuku looked towards the bench, where their sleep specialist was as silent as the night.

"The mentality in GODza... Kamikizaka's ways, they don't suit you. You would haven broken if you had been accepted."

_I was broken even without it,_ he kept for himself: Tasuku probably knew that well already.

"Do you really believe I'm _that_ fragile?"

                This time, Tsumugi wasn't faking his disappointment. Of course, he wasn't the strongest of humans. He wasn't the best leader and he wasn't the most confident person ever. Yet, that didn't mean he couldn't stand his position at GODza.

"Of course not. What I'm saying is that Kamikizaka is worse than you can imagine. Heck, why do you think I left GODza? It wasn't for your eyes."

_"At least, not at the time_ ," were the words Tsumugi's mind hoped to hear - but of course he was just a desperate and overly romantic idiot. Tasuku was too clumsy to use that kind of words anyway. Even with him, even when they knew each other better than anyone else in the world. Or was it still the case? One year was a long, long time for a longing heart.

                While watering his favorite flowers, Tsumugi stayed silent. Whatever was going to leave his mouth wasn't nice, and he'd fully regret it later. Instead, he took deep breathes, calming down while checking the quantity of water he had poured, and ridding the plants of their withered leaves.

"Tsumu..."

                The silence probably was too much for Tasuku. Too tense, maybe.

"It's alright," Tsumugi decided, "I've seen their attitude towards our company. And I've seen how you played when you were there. Even if I don't fully get what you mean, I know you mean well."

                Of course, he got no immediate answer. He wasn't expecting one in the first place.

"But meaning well doesn't mean it hurts less."

                Especially when it was about their common dream. Sure, it had changed, now; but it still had been an important part of their lives.

"I'm sorry."

                The moon was their only witness, and she seemed to accept those words. Then, who was he to go against her choices?

"I told you, it's alright."

                He paused, turned towards the sleeping beauty, and carried him in his arms.

"Let's go back, it's starting to get cold."

                Once Mikage was back in his own room, Tsumugi prepared an infusion for the two of them, fully aware that they didn't need it to sleep well. It was just a pretext to stay up a little longer. He wanted to keep talking with Tasuku, though he didn't really know why. So, he kept sipping his tea, waiting for something to happen... Until he realized.

"Tasuku, I missed you," he declared.

                More than his heart would admit, more than he could ever express.

"Huh?"

                The other one looked a little bewildered; despire their earlier conversation, it looked like he wasn't expecting to hear that kind of words.

"Well, uh, I-..."

                The dark haired man sighed, before giving in. Tsumugi didn't miss the way his cheeks turned pink, and fully enjoyed it.

"I missed you too," Tasuku finally admitted, "I don't think I would have kept on acting without you by my sides."

                That was a huge declaration. The blue haired actor stopped breathing for a short second, printing the moment in his mind. That was a whole lot to take it: wasn't that almost what he wanted to hear?

"So, in the end, it _is_ for my eyes, right?" Tsumugi teased, way too happy and amused by what just happened.

                And his friend's frustrated response was the best answer he could have gotten. Really, he had absolutely no regrets!

"I guess I'm kind of staying for your eyes, yes."

                There was so much more in the light of his eyes, so many words that would stay untold for a little longer. But to Tsumugi, that didn't matter: it was enough to make his heart go wild, and his lips curl into a bigger smile than planned.

"I knew you couldn't resist me, Taa!"

"Tsumu!!"

                He laughed, gulped down his entire infusion. The weird weight on his chest had gone away, and he now knew he could sleep without a worry. Tasuku wouldn't be gone in the morning, and their reconciliation wasn't just a dream. In the middle of the night, Tsumugi's new life eventually felt like it had started. And what better way to start a new life than with a good sleep?

* * *

 

"Why don't you just tell him?"

                Azuma's voice sounded way too amused, and Tasuku didn't have any idea what he was talking about. They had come to the beach like they did from time to time. If at first, they had been doing it so Yukishiro could talk about his feelings. It had become an habit, and they now went for no further reason than to change their minds, while the others were busy elsewhere. Incidentally, Tasuku had started opening up to Azuma, and even though he hadn't ever considered talking about those to anyone, he was started to think that maybe, the most open of his troupe members wouldn't judge him for his feelings. Still, he chose to play dumb, not sure to be ready for that kind of conversation yet.

"What are you talking about?"

                Looking right into his eyes, the former sleeping companion sighed, seemingly jaded.

"You know, even though your emotions and feelings don't show much on your face when you're not acting, the way you look at him, talk to him, _everything_ him is so obvious he might be the only one who hasn't noticed. So far, I've had the whole winter troupe except the both of you, our dear director, Muku, Yuki, and Kazunari desperately ask me to do something about the two of you. Misumi even said your relationship was triangle, but that it wants to become «more triangle», whatever that means."

                Tasuku was at loss. He didn't have any idea that everyone had noticed, much less that he showed any particular emotion when looking at his childhood friend, especially considering he was often told his emotions didn't show. Until that day, the only one who really understood him had been Tsumugi. And it felt natural.

"There's no way so many people could understand my feelings," he replied, sighing.

"I would love to tell you that I lied and just wanted you to say the truth, but unfortunately for you, we all believe the only reason Tsumugi never noticed you look at him in a different way is either because you've always looked at him that way and you both see it as normal because you've been together for so long, or he's actually noticed and just likes it."

_"Or he's actually noticed and just likes it."_

            The words repeated in his mind, again and again. Trying to make any sense for him and failing. There was no way this was the truth, right? Tsumugi was better than his was, with words. He said what was going on in his mind, so easily it felt like a bird was singing next to him - Tasuku could listen to him for hours, and keep the conversation going just to listen to his voice, and to the way his words made their path like it were the easiest thing on earth.

            And none of these words had ever evoked anything even close to the way Tasuku looked at his childhood friend. Azuma couldn't be right, then, could he?

"What I believe is that everyody in this troupe is thinking way too much about our relationship. We're childhood friends, that's it."

            There was no way he'd ever confess. Tsumugi was in love with acting, not with him. He just couldn't compete, even backed up by half of the troupe.

"Sure, that's it," the other one confirmed, repressing a chuckle.

            Tasuku was waiting for another sentence to come, but his friend stayed silent, gazing at the ocean. Waves coming back and forth, ending up their course, gently, on the sand. Just like a calm heartbeat. Time didn't seem to exist, just for a few moments. Watching the waves come and go, Tasuku breathed deeply, walking a little closer to them. Thinking about their movements, about the whole world they hid. About the whole world that hid between his own heartbeats, and the words he wasn't able to say.

"How am I supposed to tell him?"

            A wave.

"Directly. You know the words."

            Azuma's voice seemed otherworldly. As if he actually was the ocean, answering his question.

"What if our relationship changes?"

            Another wave.

            Then one more.

"Will it change? Or will there just be a little more to it? I believe if there's change, it'll only be for the best."

            Tasuku let a few moments pass. If not for the wind and waves, time seemed to have stopped.

"What if our feelings aren't the same?"

            This time, the ocean seemed more violent, while some sort of discomfort went through him.

            Once, and twice, and thrice.

"Then you won't have to live with that weight anymore."

            The next wave was calmer.

"What if our feelings aren't the same," he asked again, a little lower.

            A sigh accompanied the ocean's movements.

"I could be wrong, of course, but I don't think you need to worry about it."

            Tasuku closed his eyes. There was nothing he could say anymore. Arguing against Yukishiro was no use, and who knew... Maybe he was right. He couldn't help hoping for it. A smile on his lips, Tasuku turned towards his friend, and asked:

"Should we go back home?"

            He had the feeling their stay there had reached its aim. Besides, it was starting to get a little colder. After Azuma nodded in response, they both went back to the dorms. Tasuku needed to find the right moment to tell Tsumugi, and also the right way. Yes, he knew the words. He had said them so many times in his characters' stead, when he was in GODza. But again, he wasn't his characters. Real life was tougher than acting.

* * *

            Tsumugi had noticed. At first, he wasn't too sure. Yet, after a while, it had become obvious. There was something bothering his childhood friend, that he wasn't talking about. If it were about their current play, a rerun of Die by the Sword, he would have said it already. But he hadn't. Thus, Tsumugi had supposed it was about something else, that they could only talk about in private. So, as soon as they were back to their room, without even looking at his students' homework, he asked:

"Taa, what's bothering you?"

            The other one suddenly looked at him, somehow surprised and a little lost too. Whatever was going on in his head was very important to him, apparently - maybe just a little too much.

"Ah, Tsumu..."

            He seemed dumbfounded.

"...I was just thinking about how to tell you I love you."

            Now, _that_ was unexpected, coming from someone like Tasuku. Tsumugi felt his heart beat faster, and his breath a little shorter. He probably hadn't heard well. Yes, that was definitely the case. Or, he had misunderstood and his childhood friend was talking about acting, and the best way to say those words. Right? But then, why would he suddenly be blushing too? Why did time seem to have stopped?

_Breathe, Tsumugi,_ he told himself, starting to take deeper breathe, to try and understand whatever was going on. He needed not to get drowned by the huge wave of his feelings. Even if what had happened was a declaration.

"I don't know about the method, but you did say it," he almost stuttered, feeling his whole body get warmer, "At least, I hope I haven't misheard that and you were sincere, because if you are, then believe me, you will have to bear with me until I'm dead."

"I'm pretty sure even after you're dead I'll hear about you."

            The sentence seemed to have come by itself, almost too naturally. Tsumugi smiled, almost laughed, seeing this kind of attitude from his childhood friend. Ah... But was that still the correct word? Right now, he was uncertain of everything, had the feeling if he looked away from Tasuku's eyes, everything would disappear. He was looking for an answer to his questions, while the other man was waiting for an answer to his declaration.

"You will," he simply said, his voice almost too low, "You will, because I love you too, because my life has no meaning if you're not in it."

            Even his passion for acting didn't have any meaning if it didn't include Tasuku in some way. Of that, he was absolutely certain. After he had fled from acting, he had realized how much place their relationship took in his heart - in his life, and if he had managed to ignore that feeling for a few months, it hadn't lasted very long. First, coming to see Tasuku's plays, even hidden at the back, hadn't been as much of a good way to cope with it as he had thought. Second, finding a girlfriend to try and forget his feelings towards his childhood friend had only made him even more aware of those, and thus had proved to be a very inefficientway to cope.

            Running away from his whole life had been the biggest mistake he had made. Never did he want to do that again. Somehow, this very instant felt as important as the decision he had made to come back to Veludo. He just couldn't let it go.

"Does that mean we are...."

            His whole life depended on that very moment, on those words. If he didn't say those, there would be no point in living his life anymore.

"Yes, we are," Tsumugi declared with all his strength.

            Suddenly, the tension in the atmosphere around them just vanished, and both of them sighed in unison. Tsumugi couldn't help but smile: he liked it better that way. Everything had gone back to normal in a matter of seconds, except for a few things. First of all, the tension that had grown between the two of them, even after they had overcome their dispute, had completely disappeared. Then, Tasuku looked way more relaxed than those last days; something that would reflect on his acting, Tsumugi knew, as he took his now boyfriend's hand, dragging him further in their room.

            As night fell on them, long forgotten were the copies on his desk.

            And as the sun rose, it felt like the whole troupe was watching the both of them.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!! I really hope you enjoyed this work. I really want to get a good grasp on the characters so I can write veeery different things (as in SF and fantasy).  
> Have a nice day!


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